Lemonrock Editor

Blog (152)

Off Course?

New 15 Apr 2021Off Course?

A few members have noticed that their gig guides are showing gigs further afield than usual.

Do not worry. This is deliberate. In normal circumstances, you will see gigs in your chosen area - usually 20 miles around where you live.

We want Lemonrock's reach to grow. So, if a visitor from (say) Carlisle visits Lemonrock for the first time, instead of showing them a blank page with no gigs, we'll show them a page with gigs further than 20 miles from Carlisle. This is what's happening with traditionally busy areas: we simply show the nearest gigs to the visitor.

As venues begin to put on more gigs following the end of lockdown, these further-flung gigs will stop appearing. We hope that people from further away areas will see how Lemonrock can help them increase their following, and footfall to their venues.

Lemonrock is all about helping bands and venues grow their live music audiences. We're about connecting people: bands, venues and music lovers - people who love going out and seeing and listening to a live band. That's what Lemonrock has always been about. We hope you'll all bear with us during this transitory period.

Mac, Editor

Testing, testing...

8 Apr 2021Testing, testing...

I kind of sympathise with car manufacturers. They do all this brilliant design, test every tiniest component of the vehicle in isolation and then as part of the whole machine... putting them through many extremes of driving conditions. Imagine having to constantly re-run the same tests every time your design changes, to check that your market-leading model hasn't developed a fault with the latest iteration of the steering, suspension, heating, engine, electrical system, and so on...

And when every tick box has been ticked for the final time and the car goes to the showroom, and Mister or Ms Average Driver buys it and takes it back home on the A619 along a particularly nasty series of bends in the wind and rain at sub-zero temperatures, he, she, they, shouldn't worry, right?

The things we use have been tested thoroughly. People design tests to put objects through every (conceivable) set of conditions.

What, I hear you ask politely, does that have to do with this here website?

Well, folks... sometimes I wish I was a car designer. At least you know that your esteemed customer isn't going to drive your product through a giant strawberry jelly, or put it in the microwave to dry it. You have to draw the line somewhere in your testing, and hope that Mister or Ms Average isn't a complete sociopath. (I wanted to write psycho, but that's old-fashioned now, like hyphenation).

I haven't yet witnessed Lemonrock users trying to push the App through strawberry jellies, or see how it behaves in the microwave, but you just don't know what some people are going to do with your product - in this case, a program written by a human and run by a computer. But sometimes, people do amaze me. "My page has gone" is a common one. What? Your page? Let me check... noooo, it's still there, look. OK? Turns out they could see the page all right, but couldn't edit it because they weren't logged in, and didn't realise they weren't logged in. Because we had logged them out, and they had missed our email about that. Or maybe the email never reached them. Or maybe it did, and they were tired and thought it was spam or a message from their accountant. I'll never know. There are just too many variables to be able to know every condition. And please remember that when you next decide to drive your Ford Focus into a giant dessert. Or desert.

Having said all that... we currently have zero outstanding bugs on Lemonrock. They have all been fixed, dozens of them since January. So far, we haven't had to deal with any jelly or microwave incidents. I'm on standby.

Mac

Not Fooling Around

1 Apr 2021Not Fooling Around

During lockdown, Lemonrock has had a serious investment of my time, 5 solid months of it. I have updated software, made security improvements, and added lots of nice new features to make adding and maintaining band and venue pages quick and easy.

As well as free instant gig alerts to music fans' mobile phones, Lemonrock now gives band and venue members:

* in-page editing of gigs

* in-page editing of gig descriptions

And, as Mr Praline has already pointed out, it's an App. Lovely plumage, the Lemonrock App.

Add it to your home screen. You'd be a fool not to.

Mac

It's an App...

19 Mar 2021It's an App...

Remember the fiasco of our iPhone App (RIP 2010 - 2016)?

Apple didn't care too much about their developers, although they were happy enough taking their 30% cut. It was a horrible experience writing an iPhone App. I'm glad it's all over.

Since then though, exciting things have been happening in mobile web land.

Now (thank you Google, thank you Firefox, thank you Microsoft) we have a new standard, pulling away from Apps as you used to know them.

Apps are now websites, websites are now Apps. New technology has made this possible, and now Lemonrock is an App, reborn, not tied to any manufacturer or operating system.

It's an 'appy App!

In fact, if the Pythons had made a sketch about the new App, the dialogue might have gone a bit like this:

---

Mr. Praline enters shop holding an Android phone.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Lemonrock App... What, uh... What about it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what it's about, my lad. It's alive, that's what it's about!

Owner: Er... it's not resting?

Mr. Praline: Nope. It's alive! It's aliver than it's ever been, and make no mistake. This 'ere Lemonrock App is a very 'appy App. and I just thought I'd come back and tell you 'ow 'appy me and my App are. That's all.

Owner: (disappointed) Oh. I thought you was goin' to start complainin' again?

Mr. Praline: Nope, never been 'appier. I just wanted to say thank you very much for this 'ere App what seems to be enjoying a very spirited new life.

Owner: Oh, all right then. Er, you're sure it's not probably pining for the fjords?

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? No!! It's 'appy as Larry, look at it! Never seen such an 'appy screen.

Owner: No no! It's pining!

Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's alive! This Lemonrock App is here and full of life! It has risen from the grave! It's defied nature! It's born again! Full of life, it has things to do, people to see, places to go! THIS IS A PROPER ALIVE APP!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (He takes a quick peek behind the counter.) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of replacements for Lemonrock Apps.

Mr. Praline: (shouting) I don't want a replacement! This Lemonrock App is working beautifully! You leave my App alone!

Owner: OK, sorry about that (gets ashamed, looks at his feet). It's just that...

Mr. Praline: What?

Owner: (with a fake moustache) Well, I always wanted to be... a lumberjack!

____

With apologies, and thanks again, to John Cleese and Graham Chapman.

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