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Mark the music

New 24 Jan 2022Mark the music

The man that hath no music in himself,

Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds,

Is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils;

The motions of his spirit are dull as night

And his affections dark as Erebus:

Let no such man be trusted. Mark the music.

- Lorenzo, from The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare

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Mac, big fan of Lorenzo

Where there's a Willie...

14 Jan 2022Where there's a Willie...

I'm in the wrong job.

Recently, I was on Linked In, where you can connect with other big-headed people just like you, and boast about your thousands of important achievements.

I happened upon this serial entrepreneur guy (who knew they existed?) who ran a world-leading dating site.

Let's just call him Willie. It isn't his real name.

Willie had written this great piece of software. It was a dating site, but with a twist. It didn't have a name. But if your company / newspaper / radio station wanted it for themselves, Willie would re-brand it with your logo and sell it to you. For a large sum of money. Willie knew the power that these sites could have; how the (single) human mind works, and, above all, how to win customers who couldn't afford to design a website from scratch for themselves.

Even more recently, I tested the water on one of Willie's newest dating sites. The home screen was snazzy, and within 10 minutes I had told the world how I tick, and what I wanted from a potential partner. And 2 minutes after that, Willie wanted a large amount of money out of me, which, given the dismal appearance of my potential matches - mainly rather blurry, pie- and TV-loving women - led me to choke somewhat on my falafel. He's charging a monthly fee of a tad less that Lemonrock's ANNUAL fee.

Is going out with someone more valuable than going to a gig? Is it worth 12 times more cash? Willie says yes. I say: no, Willie.

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Mac, not willie-ing to willie-fully waste my hard-earned cash

A Christmas Present

14 Dec 2021A Christmas Present

It is beginning to look like Live Music is recovering all over the UK.

Lemonrock can show that, after a disastrous year for gigs during 2020, numbers are heading back to 2019 levels.

Year-on-year, gigs posted during 2021, compared to gigs posted during 2019, show:

Gigs posted in September : 55%

Gigs posted in October : 66%

Gigs posted in November : 79%

We're only midway through December, but the prospects are good.

Compare this with COVID-lockdown 2020 against 2019:

Gigs posted in September : 8%

Gigs posted in October : 6%

Gigs posted in November : 3%

Gigs posted in December : 3%

We need to keep the spread of COVID under control. The best way to do this, if you are a live music lover, is to get vaccinated. If you don't fancy doing that, then I and my fellow triple-jabbed music lovers hope that you enjoy the view from the windows in your home.

Merry Christmas.

___

Mac, with a Ho-Ho-Ho (one for each injection)

eBay, ha ha ha

6 Dec 2021eBay, ha ha ha

TL;DR : eBay owes me £7.07 but I will never, ever receive it, because eBay is fatally broken.

As you can see from the screenshot, my £7.07 has vanished from their records. But they send me a tantalising email every month to tell me about this money that they owe me. How cruel.

I wonder how many of us there are. Millions, perhaps. That's a lot of cash from abandoned customers. Shame (you know how it goes)... shame, shame.

Back in the Old Days, when websites employed people who could help you, this kind of massive failure would have been addressed quickly. Now that websites are using AI (Appalling Indifference), we can expect no less than a long frustrating day with which we can regale our friends at Yoga*.

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Mac, cheated yet again, but oh, so not alone.

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*Yoga... Snooker... Darts... The Pub... anything that is actually REAL.

Oh, sorry, I forgot to include eBay's Hotbed partners, PayPal, who are also fatally broken. Possibly due to them sharing software, toilet facilities and handkerchiefs, who knows. PayPal and eBay are both on my list of FTSE 100 (Failure To Satisfy Ever) companies. For a full list, send me a SAE, or pop down to my local and buy me a drink, and I'll write them on your hands, wrists and arms.

Oh, and... oh (that's like a PPS)... I LOVE so many things (people, companies) more than I hate, so forgive me for sounding like a serial complainer. I could furnish you with a much bigger list of good guys than wrong'uns. Got long arms, and a pen? See you down the pub.

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