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eBay, ha ha ha

6 Dec 2021eBay, ha ha ha

TL;DR : eBay owes me £7.07 but I will never, ever receive it, because eBay is fatally broken.

As you can see from the screenshot, my £7.07 has vanished from their records. But they send me a tantalising email every month to tell me about this money that they owe me. How cruel.

I wonder how many of us there are. Millions, perhaps. That's a lot of cash from abandoned customers. Shame (you know how it goes)... shame, shame.

Back in the Old Days, when websites employed people who could help you, this kind of massive failure would have been addressed quickly. Now that websites are using AI (Appalling Indifference), we can expect no less than a long frustrating day with which we can regale our friends at Yoga*.

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Mac, cheated yet again, but oh, so not alone.

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*Yoga... Snooker... Darts... The Pub... anything that is actually REAL.

Oh, sorry, I forgot to include eBay's Hotbed partners, PayPal, who are also fatally broken. Possibly due to them sharing software, toilet facilities and handkerchiefs, who knows. PayPal and eBay are both on my list of FTSE 100 (Failure To Satisfy Ever) companies. For a full list, send me a SAE, or pop down to my local and buy me a drink, and I'll write them on your hands, wrists and arms.

Oh, and... oh (that's like a PPS)... I LOVE so many things (people, companies) more than I hate, so forgive me for sounding like a serial complainer. I could furnish you with a much bigger list of good guys than wrong'uns. Got long arms, and a pen? See you down the pub.

Pubs? In a Town?

17 Nov 2021Pubs? In a Town?

Coming Soon... Pubs in Town.

So, lockdown has been a disaster for live music, pubs, hospitality... and for Lemonrock.

Although the live music scene is recovering slowly, I decided some time ago that it would be a good idea to diversify - just a little - into an area that was closely related to live music... an area that I had sound experience of: PUBS.

So, I'm developing a new Web App called Pubs in Town.

I have always loved pubs. When I moved to Durham from Scotland (which had hotel bars rather than pubs), I loved the idea of sitting outside on a summer night, in a pub garden, possibly with a Real Ale in my hand, chatting and enjoying life with friends. When I moved to Islington at the age of 21, we instantly bonded with other pub-goers at The Rising Sun. When I arrived in St Albans in 1990, I had no idea that it was a town bursting with pubs and music. Honestly. No idea about CAMRA, and actually no appreciation of Real Ale or Live Music. I was Young.

How things have changed.

My new business, Pubs in Town, helps pubs to connect with their customers, and grow a loyal customer base. Pub owners list all their facilities, drinks and events on the App, which sends offers and news directly to App users. Pubs in Town helps publicans to take an active part in their local pub community. From the punter point of view, Pubs in Town is a free App that gives pub goers all the information they need to plan a great trip out. Whether it's just for a quick beer, or a full evening of sampling different pubs in an area with friends, Pubs in Town helps people to find exactly the types of facilities, food, drinks, and atmosphere, that they want in their local area, or when on holiday. Anyone can join Pubs in Town for free as a Pub Goer, and create pub circuit maps; see what's on right now in their local pubs, and find specific drinks and pub facilities... in any location.

It's a big job. I began developing Pubs in Town in June 2021. There's still much to do. Many, many man-years of work have gone into Lemonrock (about 20). To start a new App from scratch would be madness. Luckily, I have been able to re-use some of the Lemonrock software to create Pubs in Town. That's a big head start on my competitors (Hello, Untappd... Hello, WhatPub... Hello, all other online pub guides)... this is going to be fun!

As a Lemonrock blog reader, you are one of the first people to know about this fantastic new Web App.

Like a Christmas cake baked in June, it's not quite ready yet. But, mmm, it is smelling delicious...

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Mac, pub lover

I'm a...

14 Nov 2021I'm a...

I'm a Geek, I'm a Geek, I'm a Geek...

I love The Who's song, "I'm a Boy". It's a tale about someone asserting their sexuality, in the face of his mother's insistence that her son be a girl, not a boy.

Anyway, my Mum had no idea that her son would turn out this way. I did well at school, and was good at maths, English and science. But, heavens above, what happened?

On a gorgeous, bright November Saturday, when normal people are out doing normal things like (I'm guessing here...) shopping, golfing, horseriding, walking... what does Mac do instead? He spends 6 hours writing a pie chart for Lemonrock, showing the percentage of gigs in each UK county.

Some will call this sad. Some will label him as a lonely, introverted obsessive.

That's very kind of them.

I love my pie chart.

https://www.lemonrock.com/gigsbyregion.php

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Mac, I'm a boy... and a geek (apparently)

Tools

1 Nov 2021Tools

So, my Dad died, and left some online accounts.

One of these was his Apple account. He had an iPad, an iPhone and an iMac. Not an unusual consumer, probably.

After some trouble, we managed to get his account deleted.

Then, I tried to erase his iPhone, so that I could sell it. It was in excellent condition; hardly used, in fact.

As my Dad no longer had an Apple account, the iPhone would not permit the phone to be erased.

Luckily, I found this super tool on the Internet to reset it. It's called a 2 pound Lump Hammer.

All you have to do is put the iPhone in a plastic bag, and place the plastic bag on a hard surface outside.

You then use the Lump Hammer to reset the iPhone. Safety goggles are strongly advised.

It only took about a minute. To make extra sure that it was reset, I turned it over a couple of times during the resetting, and I peeked inside the bag a few times to check that the process was being accomplished to my satisfaction.

If anyone else wants their iPhone reset in this way, I will be happy to do it for free. Please be aware that not all shops in your area might accept an iPhone that has been reset in this manner. If in doubt, please check with them first. Alternatively, the precious metals may be recycled at your local recycling centre.

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Mac, Apple Expert

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* Just in case the irony wasn't obvious, the headline "Tools" is deliberately ambiguous. In the UK, a "tool" is someone (or a company, I daresay) who lacks common sense, and is generally a blundering idiot. Just saying. No company name explicitly mentioned in this addendum.

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