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Spaced out

20 Jul 2021Spaced out

As huge parts of our precious planet are submerged in floods, while other parts are ablaze, and there isn't enough money or manpower to prevent the far-reaching consequential damage... as millions of people worldwide suffer, and thousands die, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that Mr. Amazon, the world's richest man, has spent a small fortune on 3 minutes of mind-blowing weightlessness.

I'm so happy for him.

Now all we need is a cure for sarcasm, and our world will be perfect.

Mr. Lemonrock

pic: Gilbert Shelton

Chalk and Cheese

8 Jul 2021Chalk and Cheese

My grandfather had a twin brother. My Gran used to tell me about the two of them, how they were so different, yet born only a few minutes apart.

One was thin, artistic, talkative. His twin was sporty and romantic; a free spirit.

One went to Zimbabwe (then Rhodesia) to become a farmer. The other stayed in the UK and had a successful career as an engineer. Sometimes my Grandpa's brother would come a-visiting, and all was well; I'm sure my Gran never had eyes for anyone else, and perhaps my great-uncle wouldn't have been a great match anyway, with his posh ways, handlebar moustache and (unfortunately) rather dismissive attitude.

So, what does all this have to do with live music?

People go out for lots of reasons, for we are a sociable race.

But there are serious differences in behaviour when it comes to music and football.

At music gigs, I've seen the odd scuffle, face-off, or unpleasant word spoken.

Give me music gigs any time, over the disgraceful display of antisocial behaviour exhibited by so-called educated men at public TV-screened events.

At music gigs, we respect each other and each other's space. We say sorry if we bump into each other. We're genuinely pleased to be in each other's company.

At football "gigs" (I hesitate to share the word, but there are similarities), people shout, people trash the furniture, people disregard the COVID safety instructions, people throw beer over other unwitting people, and people are - I hate to generalise, but I am just reporting what I have seen - selfish, stupid and deeply antisocial in their pursuit of their own enjoyment.

I know I'm not alone. Friends feel the same. Sport has earned itself an ugly reputation. It gives refuge to anti-social, violent types. Live music may look like sport from a distance, but it is chalk, not cheese.

Mac, all chalk

Angry?

29 Jun 2021Angry?

Do you like to complain? Or have you felt forced to complain? About live music, I mean.

Let me explain.

Currently, bands can only play inside where strict social distancing rules are observed. Any venues putting on gigs inside are missing out on another half venueful of music fans. And this is suffocating pubs. Music pubs are struggling unless they're fortunate enough to have a large enough outside space.

Even then, with bands playing outdoors, the great British Public isn't happy.

They don't want to hear live music drifting across from their local's beer garden. Well, a word in your sensitive ear, Unhappy of Uxbridge, Perturbed of Peckham... we're all struggling to get back lost business caused by the spread of Coronavirus, so do us all a favour, OK? For 2 hours a week, close your double-glazed sashes, or stick some buds in your pretty ears and enjoy some Mozart, Motorhead, or Birdy... bite your pretty lip and thank your god that you are still here and still have ears.

Everyone knows we're all in this together. But think about it... What can you do to make a difference? Just a little patience, and a little empathy for your music-loving neighbours. They are exactly the same as you. Some of them are very beautiful people and don't eat meat or don't drive cars. So, the next time you think about calling your local council's noise abatement hotline, just consider how you're contributing to society yourself before you call, all right? Fair?

---

Mac, music lover, town resident, generally patient person.

Is It Safe? (Part 4)

21 Jun 2021Is It Safe? (Part 4)

I get these emails from my local police security group. They tell me about Nottingham Knockers and Generally Dodgy Types (the low-lifes who crawl out from under damp rocks and steal your life savings. The Normal Kind of anti-social behaviour).

And while I do *sigh* when I get these emails, one piece of recent advice did make me stop and think.

The world has become seriously dangerous - scam-wise - since hackers/low-lifes can now fiddle with something called Calling Line Identity (CLI) on your phone.

I worked in telecoms in the 1990s. CLI was a crucial key to telephone screening and security. When someone makes a call, their telephone number is sent digitally to the called number. This is how you know that your Mum or Granny is calling you - your phone tells you.

* Your Phone Tells You *

It's written twice because I want you to know that your phone can lie. YOUR PHONE CAN NOW LIE TO YOU.

Now that scammers/hackers/low-lifes can manipulate the calling number, no-one is safe. These criminals can easily pretend to be your Mum, your Granny, your bank, your solicitor, even the Police. It's what they call social engineering. It's trickery, forgery, false impersonation. It's one heck of a racket to steal your money.

Frankly, as an engineer and citizen, I am shocked that this is even possible. It's appallingly poor design, a massive bug that can't be fixed.

See Number spoofing scams on Ofcom for details.

Our telephone system is broken and should not be used.

I'd advise you to use WhatsApp for making your voice calls. That way, numbers can't be faked. But Facebook will log your call. It's up to you, Little Brothers and Sisters.

Mac (DND)

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